Did Jesus promote "clicks?" Enter the idea of an OPEN CLICK.

 One of the besetting problems in many churches is the formation of clicks.  These problems are especially pronounced most times in youth groups but I believe they pervade the older echelons of the church as well but perhaps the evidences are a bit more masked.  Why do we so naturally long to be a part of a click?  Why does it feel so good to be on the inside?  Why does it hurt to be on the outside?  How has God designed us and how is God calling us to live in the area of friend groups and clicks?

First: Why do clicks form?  I feel that one of the primary reason for the formation of clicks is that people want to be part of a group.  For some reason, hard wired in our DNA is a longing for commoonity (I mean community).  I believe that part of us being made in the image of God is the design for community.  We are not designed to be islands.  The degree to which people desire to be with others varies a great deal, but very few normal people have no desire for community.  The real problem with clicks, however, is not so much that we have a longing to be with others, but more that we don't want to be with certain others.  (i.e. If the party could always get bigger clicks wouldn't be a problem.)  Most times in a group there comes a time when some or all of the people inside the group do not want more people to be inside the group.  Most times this is where the problems start.

Is the desire to have a certain group stay at a particular size wrong?  I feel this depends on why the group is wanting to stay small?  Many times in our longing for community we are looking for people to meet certain needs that we have rather than finding these needs met in God.  We may look to a group of people to give us affirmation or security.  Inviting other people to be a part of "our" group could threaten security or other things that we look for in a group.  When James (in the Bible) spoke out against being a respecter of persons this was one of the primary things he was talking about.

I feel the desire for a group to stay a particular size can be an okay feeling if the desire is to keep the group more personal and focused.  I think one of the downfalls of many churches is that they allow anyone and everyone to come to their church without making sure the person is called to be at the new church.  Sometimes these churches can grow very rapidly, but then suddenly crash because everyone was just seeking what the group could give them rather than finding their place because they were called to be there. 

If you are a part of a click that you really enjoy and you are wondering about whether it is okay for you to be exclusive consider one of my favorite quotes by Shane Claiborne, "The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them away."  How can we give a click away?  Consider a small church where everything is going great: revival is happening, worship is real, and community within the church is caring and committed.  It's hard to imagine a small church like this because these types of churches never stay small.  Most times the only small churches are the ones with problems.  But consider that if as this church grows the people would decide that every time the church reaches a certain size it starts a new church.  This new body would be formed by people called to leave (assuming there are some).  I'm not sure what happens if nobody ever feels called to start the new group, but please stick with my theory.  When the new body forms it could again grow until it becomes a certain size and then split apart.  Splitting this way is much better rather than after the church has become large in number and nobody knows each other that well so as soon as something comes up everyone starts judging each other's motives and the whole things falls apart.  (Okay that might be a little extreme, but these types of things can happen in small ways.)

I know small churches and groups of friends can have problems too but I think if people can know each other in a really deep personal ways there is a lot less chance that there will be misunderstandings and judging of motives.  If there are problems it is often much easier to work through them if there are fewer people.

The big difference between a bad click and a good click is that a bad click is all about what I can get out of this group of friends.  A good click is formed because it is what is best for the group and the rest of the people in the group, and even the people outside the group.  How do we decide whether we are part of a bad click or a good click?  (I don't know.  I'm the one that asked the question?)  No, more seriously, it is hard to make sweeping statements that allow us always to know whether a click is good or bad but here are some thoughts.

I think there is inside every person a longing for a tight group of friends who know us very well and who we know very well: people with whom we can be ourselves and not have to impress but still hold the deepest respect for us.  I think it is important for a Christian to be surrounded by a group of people who can support them through the battle of life and correct them when they go astray. 

While Jesus lived on the earth he surrounded himself with a tight group of friends.  Within this group Jesus had an especially tight group of three men: Peter, James, and John.  The special relationship that Jesus had with these three men even led to disagreements on several occasions with the other disciples.  Jesus even seemed exclusive at times to people he met along the way.  When Jesus was confronted by the Syro-Phoenician woman he only helped her after she persistently begged for his help.  But, the real interesting thing to note is who Jesus allowed to be a part of his "click."  Jesus inner core included down to earth men.  I don't believe Jesus picked people that would make him look good or were necessarily the most fun to hang out with.  Note that he picked a man who he knew would betray him someday.  Imagine that for a click partner.

In summary, I think clicks are great.  However, my struggle lies in choosing the people I am going to click with.  I find it so easy to do exactly what we are commanded not to do in James.  I am extra nice to the people that make me feel good and can get me where I want to go, but I ignore the people who really need me.  I believe God is asking us to form clicks with the people around us who are down and out, the ones who need a friend and just aren't that cool at first glance, and build small communities (churches) that can support the individuals in the click through the battles of life.

God, please help us build God honoring clicks.  God, please turn our clicks into God honoring churches.