Eric Ludy - The Gospel

EASTER EDITION:

I'm called therefore I do.

A normal Christian prays 5 minutes a day.
A good Christian prays 5 minutes a day and tithes 10% of his income.
A better Christian prays 15 minutes a day and gives 15% of his income.
An on fire Christian prays 20 minutes a day and give 20% of his income.
A totally Spirit filled Christian prays for hours each day and gives away all his income.


I've lived a lot of my life thinking that the measure of how mature a Christian I am is based on how extreme I am about following God.  This quest for following God has led me to some interesting places.  I've been convinced that I have to give more, do more, and be more in order to really follow what God has planned.  Some days I did really good at this and I would come away congratulating myself for the good Christian I had become.  Other days things didn't go so well and I would end up pitying myself because I would never do anything that great for God.  I see things differently know.  This difference has allowed me to become excited about life in a whole new way.

What's the difference?

There are a number of truth's from scripture that have finally set me free in this area of my life.

1) "I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye." (Ps. 32:8 - KJV)

2) “For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” (2Corinthians 10:12)

3) "When you have done everything you were ordered to do, say, 'We are worthless servants. We have done only what we ought to have done." (Luke 17:10 - NIV)

4) Jesus to Peter: "Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go." (This he said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God.) And after saying this he said to him, "Follow me." Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them, the one who had been reclining at table close to him and had said, "Lord, who is it that is going to betray you?" When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, "Lord, what about this man?" Jesus said to him, "If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!" (John 21:18-22 -ESV).

I take from these passages a number of observations. 

1)  God's call on our lives is a call of obedience that we learn to follow as we learn to be in an attitude of prayer 24/7.  As we focus on Christ he guides us with his slightest promptings.

2) We cannot look at those around us to determine how we are to follow God.  Whenever we begin comparing ourselves to those around us we either begin to get puffed up in pride or discouraged in self pity.

3) Whatever God calls us to, after we have done this, our appropriate response is, "We are worthless servants.  We have only done what we ought to have done."

4) The places God leads us may vary greatly.  We are not called to figure out how the people around us should be following God.  Our call is follow Christ. (Let me briefly say: there is a big difference between teaching people the truths of God and mandating for other people exactly where, when, and how God wants a person to apply these truths.)

I believe that if God is calling me to give $1000 to a person and I give $900 I have been disobedient.  I also believe that if God asks me to give $20 to a person and I give $40 in order to be an even better Christian I have not been any more faithful to God than if I had given only $20.  

I believe if God is calling me to pray all night or fast all week and I choose to follow what I want to do instead I am being disobedient.  But if God is calling me to be the answer to my prayer by spending time encouraging someone rather than spending extra time in my prayer closet, I could be disobedient for praying in this way.  

Some people think that in order to be really spiritual they must remain single all of their life.  I believe if God calls someone to marriage and they choose to stay single they are being disobedient.  If someone chooses to marry when God has called them to singleness they are being disobedient.  

Wow it sure seems like there are a lot of ways to be disobedient.  This is not the point of what I am saying.  God is a gentle shepherd and the millions of mistakes that we make throughout our lifetime are miraculously used by Him to display his character anyway as we follow him with open hearts.  What I am trying to say is that the more of some virtue that we do does not gain us any more standing with God if this is not where God has called us.  

I was discussing the concept of Christian discipline with a couple of my friends the other day.  One of my friends felt called to throw away this fancy goal list that she had made for herself because it was not what God had calle her to.  Another one of my friends is all about goals and goal lists.  Who is right?

Jim Elliot is one of my greatest heroes.  I'd love to be able to give my life like he did someday.  However, if I run all the way to the jungle and put myself in harm's way for Christ when God has called me to a much simpler daily sacrifice in Honey Brook, I am being disobedient to the call of God in my life.  

Where has my latest quest led me?  Over and over again I've prayed in the last months - God help me be faithful, help me be faithful.  Out of this day to day faithfulness I am finding a singleness of mind for the things of God that is liberating and invigorating. I'm finally free to from feeling condemned when my Christianity doesn't look as extensive as those around me.  I've also been experiencing victory over pride as I respond to praise from men for things that I've done with, "I have only done my duty."

I think if we could really get a hold of Christ's simple commandment to not compare ourselves among ourselves, we would find so much energy for Christian service in our churches.  Satan loves to cool our passion with pride and self-condemnation.  He loves when we all try to follow the call that God has placed on some other person rather than serving in our own call in the unique way that God has called us.  

Music is beautiful as long as the right notes are played at the right times in the right places.  If a whole song were the same note it would be pretty boring.  Although the notes must be different in order for there to be a song, unless the notes are arranged by a master musician everything is a mess.  God wants to blend our individual calls into one creative master piece.  In order for this to happen we must each follow God in the day to day things that He has called us to.  As soon as we listen to Satan and copy each other, and compare each other the song gets really messy.  Thank God for a music director who can take the jumbled mess of our mistakes and shift things around into a song that still tells of his glory.  Praise Him!

And now I have to go follow my call of Bible reading.  I really wanted to do a little brain dump on my blog so I broke my usual rule of Bible reading before playing, but I'm gonna read my Bible now so don't point fingers.  By the way, you are not supposed to be comparing yourself to me anyway so stop it.  

Made you look.  Heh heh, hah hah  You looked!!!!  You thought there would be something here and there isn't.  Ah hahh hah.  That's a good one.  hah hahh!!!

"Chris Beiler is dead, maybe."

Thursday mornings I meet for prayer with a guy named Ernie. We meet at his house at 5:30 and eat cereal, drink coffee, munch on fruit, and talk about what's going on in our lives. Ernie is a plumber but he only works 3 days a week because his parents are on the mission field in Kenya and he has to take care of their farm while they are gone. Ernie is not lazy at all, like some people would think, because he only works at this job three days a week. Ernie knows how to manage things and he knows the real meaning of life. The other morning Ernie was sitting there eating his oranges and said, "You know a lot of times we think that the more we get done the more successful we are." "Oh yeah," I said, "that is what we think, isn't it." Then Ernie's comment hit me. You know what? This is exactly how I live my life - the more I get done the more successful I feel about myself.

My Christianity has become all about getting things done. I like this religion because I'm pretty good at getting things done. I'm German and German's get things done. It's amazing how often I make Christianity fit my life rather than making my life fit Christianity. The problem is, however, that unless my life changes to fit God's truth I am living in bondage. Ernie the plumber woke me up on this one. So I'm not a better Christian if I get more good things done today? Really? But, but..... So what then is success? Why do you want to know? Why is it so important to be successful? Why do you care at all about living Christianity the way you are supposed to?

Ah hah, it's all coming together now. You see these are surface questions. The real issue at heart is why is there a "me" at all? Why is there a "self" to get it right, or to mess up? Why is there a Chris Beiler to either be successful or a failure? We've been duped. We believe that if we can do "this" and do "that" than we are being Christian. But there is a huge focus problem here. It's all about us being selfless, us being faithful, us living like Christ intended. And so we run and run and run. We run around thinking..."The more of these things I get done the more faithful I've been."

May I ask some questions: I thought you were supposed to be dead. Why are we only dead to doing bad things? If we are really dead doesn't that mean we can't do good things either? Our performance, pride based Christianity comes out of the belief that I am dead to doing wrong things but self can sure still do a lot of good things.

If we are truly dead we are nothing more than a physical body.  Our spiritual breath is the pneuma from God - the Holy Spirit. We don't do anything. The question of us being successful in our Christian walk is irrelevant because we exist no more. We are only a walking shell housing God. This is the only way for us truly to become God's hands and feet. Maybe the only reason we are still trying to learn what to do to follow God is because self is still alive (maybe - I'm not sure on this one). The only way for us to die is to surrender to the Father and allow him to crucify our "self." When we are dead then there is finally room for God to move in. From this moment forward our life is to use our minds and hearts to walk where God wants to walk, talk what God wants to say and on and on. Doing one more thing for God is not more successful if God hasn't asked for it.

So what's the difference between what I've condemned so far and what I've condoned. Maybe not too much, but maybe a whole lot. I'm not sure yet. I have a cousin Abby who lives on a farm and actually milks cows. She's pretty cool and she wrote a little article about love. I didn't ask here if I could use it so don't tell her that you read it, but I like the part where she scribbles out all her goals and decides just to love. I think that's what I'm trying to say.  

             Love. we read about it.   we hear sermons on it. we sing about it often. we love to feel love. But if I were to be completely honest, i would have to say that this os one area that God brings me back to over and over again.

Oh, I say that i know what love is, and I say that I love others, but again and again God peels back the layers of my heart and  exposes just how ugly and not-very-loving it is..

I see pride, selfishness, ulterior motives, and my reputation, all playing a part in the way I love others. I hate it, but I love it at the same time. And if there's one thing I'm good at, its loving myself. My time. My space. My good name.

But as always Jesus brings me back to the very place where He demonstrated His perfect love for me.

Perfect love.

It's another term we throw around. But perfect love isn't the way I love. Perfect love is the love that Jesus had for Judas Iscariot, the traitor. The one He discipled, only to have Judas turn around and stab Him in the back. Jesus knew from the beginning of time that Judas would betray Him, yet it never changed the way Jesus loved him. Perfect love. Unconditional love. I don't understand God's timing, or why I cried last night and finally said, "ok, God, I get it!"

I realize how easily a performance based love can subtly creep into my life. I love people that are making the right choices, and are generally behaving the way that I want then to behave. But what of those that reject me and my love?

I once read a story about a pastor who received a call from his wife, saying that their 16 year old son had come home drunk. The pastor was furious. His son was respected in school , and a leader in youth group. How could he do this? But after spending time in prayer, the pastor drove home, where his son waited nervously for his return. The pastor stood before his son and said, " Son, I really love you. I hate what you've done, but I want you to know that I still love you."

The son broke down, and crying, said, "Dad, I've heard you say that a hundred times, but now I know its true".

Our Honey Brook girls choir leaves on tour tomorrow. I've spent a lot of time praying and asking God what He wants for this weekend. I even wrote down some goals. good goals.

But this morning I scribbled them out and wrote just one.

LOVE THEM. with perfect love.

pretty simple, huh? :)

"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds." - John 12:24

Friedrich Neitzsche, a German philosopher is famous for having declared that "God is dead."  Someday, I hope to be able to declare with 100% accuracy that "Chris is dead."  Maybe that's all I'm saying today.  Maybe I'm just really tired of making "self" be a Christian when God is calling us to die to self and let him be alive inside of us.  Maybe, maybe....


P.S.  About a month ago, I finally read the book Blue like Jazz by Donald Miller.  I think I was the only person in the whole world who hadn't yet read that book.  I disagreed with a lot of what Don said and also some of his approach to life, but he also had some really good stuff to say.  Most of all I really like his writing style so I decided to try to write a blog with this style in mind.  What a guy Don is.


Thanks Abby for the use of your Facebook post.  Too bad you probably don't even know this is here.  I like to put invisible things at the ends of my emails and blogs.  Heh heh.  Anyway thanks a lot.  Your cuz.  

EUREKA!

             I just heard a statistic yesterday that said four out of five young people are leaving church.  Woa!  How in the world are we going to be a light to the people around us if the people who know the in's and out's of Christianity are saying there is nothing here worth following?  The mantra of today's Christian young people is that we want something more.  The whole impetus behind the emergent church is a belief that the typical Bible belt Christian of America has missed something drastic.  The core of America's Christian stereotype is a moral, Blue Collar, Republican, Caucasian, from a rural area who works hard, goes to church on Sundays, and does good community things the rest of the week.  For some reason there has been a reaction in the past ten years to this picture of Christianity.  Listen to Shane Claiborne, Rob Bell, and the rest of the emergent church and you will hear the subtle tones that "normal" American Christianity has missed really missed something.
               Now, if I thought the emergent church had their head in the sand and was seeing some kind of false reality I would pass the whole movement off.  However, I feel strongly that the emergent church has put their finger on a huge problem, and so I rise up with the young people of my generation and say there has got to be more to Christianity.  As I voice my opinion, I find that I am far from alone.  The cry of the Christian young people of our age seems to be either that Christianity was not the real deal and so I left, or if Christianity is the real deal there has got to be more to it.
             A number of years back, convinced that I was going to do "big things" for God I began searching for where God wanted me to serve.  Surely it had to be on some great mission field doing exciting things, because this is always where you find the real Christians.  I began asking God, "Where do you want me to go?"  I went on mission trips to test different areas.  I prepared to leave the area by going to college so I would have access to foreign limited access nations.  In the middle of all this God seemed strangely quiet, and so I searched harder and asked with more desperation, "God, what is your will for my life?" I asked day after day.  I searched and searched.  Nothing seemed to break through.   Dream after dream of a life of excitement crumbled in front of me until I finally came to the realization that God is calling me to live in "Bible belt" Lancaster County.  I'm Caucasian.  If you don't know me very well you'd think I'm a Republican.  Everywhere I look I see fields and cows - yup, it's a rural area all right.  I work hard and go to church on Sundays: a normal church - we don't meet under a bridge or in a coffee shop or some other cool place.  I try to do good community things when I'm not at church.  Yea, you guessed it.  I'm the stereotype of American Christianity and for a while it drove me crazy.  I knew God had missed something.
               All my life I've wanted to live an abnormal life.  I didn't want more normal Christianity, but every time I heard God's voice it was calling me back to a life of what I thought was normalcy.  Finally I gave up trying.  I found a job 5 minutes from my house where I work 40 - 50 hours a week.  I decided to put my energy into my local church - not that exciting but it's where God called me.  The amazing thing is that I am finally finding the fire that I've been looking for for so long.  I feel like I was a worm and I just stepped out of my caccoon.  Suddenly some things are looking a bit different.  Maybe way different.  I'm also seeing in more and more ways that what I'm finding, perfectly lines up with story after story in the gospels.  Let me explain myself.
                In Luke 17 the disciples ask Jesus, "Lord, increase our faith."  I can almost read their thoughts.  Wow we are gonna soon be able to really do great things for God once we get this truckload of faith.  Jesus' response is very intriguing.  He almost brushes the question off with a quick statement that if you have faith as small as a mustard seed you will be able to move mountains.  Jesus basically said that with virtually no faith at all you can move continents around if you want to.  Okay?  Jesus goes on to truly answer the disciples question.  He gives the example of a master and his servant.  The servant has been working for his master all day while (reading between the lines) the master has been out playing golf for the day.  When the master comes home who gets to eat first?: the master of course.  After the master has eaten and all the master's needs are met the servant finally gets a chance to sit down and get some food and rest.  What is the servants proper response?  "I have only done my duty."
              What is Jesus saying?  I think he is saying that the issue at the heart of God is being faithful, not having faith.  But aren't these two words the same?  I believe he who is faithful should be thought of as a person of great faith (full of faith = faithful).  In modern Christian terminology we do not use these two words the same.  We think of faith as a thought, a mind over matter projection of my intellect.  However, a person who is faithful is one who consistently obeys the wishes of his master.  The commonly accepted thought process is that if I can just think correctly about God I can heal this person, I can do this miracle or have this prayer answered.  That is what I believe the disciples wanted.  They were not content with the stereotype God-following Judiasm of their day and they wanted more, and so they asked Jesus to increase their faith.  Jesus called them to be faithful.
             For years my prayers to God were, "God show me your will."  However, I'm seeing more and more that my prayer should be (as it says in the Lord's prayer), "Father, your will be done," and "God, help me be faithful."  Since I started praying these two prayers my Christian life has been anything but normal.  There has been a huge change, but it has not come from changing what type of building I meet in Sunday mornings, or going to some far-out place to do missions.  The change has come from being faithful.  I pray that one day I will be eligible for the Hall of Faith, not because I knew how to concentrate my beliefs in God in the right way so I could do miracles and be an extremely "alive" Christian, but because I have simply done my duty.
             This idea of faithfulness is everywhere in the gospels: the 5 virgins who stayed awake,  the poor widow who kept begging the judge, the servants who were given talents,.......  Ephesians says, "By grace you are saved through faith."  God extends salvation to the people who are willing to faithfully follow him.  Does that mean we're earning our salvation? No.  Part of my journey of learning faithfulness has been a whole new concept of salvation and the gospel message.  Let me explain it like this.
           I believe the book of Nehemiah paints a picture of the Christian life.  The nation of Israel was in captivity because of their sin.  The city of Jerusalem was broken down.  The land was ruled by God-mockers.  The temple was burnt.  Our lives were like the city of Jerusalem.  They were broken down with sin.  "Self" the God-mocker, ruled our heart.  The temple God's place of residence in our life was completely non-existence.  At salvation a new king comes to rule the city.  Our lives are under new management.  God's presence moves into our lives as our hearts become a place of worship.  However, just like the walls of Jerusalem were still broken down for years after the Jews returned to Israel, there are many areas in my life that still need mending.  As we faithfully follow God he rebuilds our walls.  The king resides in the city whose people are willing to be faithful.  We are saved through faithfulness.
          The initial establishment of a new king in the city occurs as we accept Christ's invitation to the wedding feast (to use an analogy from another of Jesus' parables).  Sure there is some "head-work" done here because we have to believe that there is a God who is inviting us to a wedding feast.  All we do at salvation is accept the invitation to let God be king.  Our faithfulness to God is a response to him becoming the king  To conclude I believe the faith that God is talking about has more to do with our modern day usage of the word faithful, than our typical modern day use of the word faith.
           So you want more from Christianity young person?  Start being faithful.  Many young people have not been disillusioned by Christianity because the last generation was not exciting enough but because the past generation was not faithful enough.  To get true Christianity back we cannot go searching for excitement but for faithfulness.
          These are a few of my musings as of late.  Next week they will probably be slightly refined and changed but I thought I'd throw the very very rough copy out on the table for now.

A Call to Anguish - David Wilkerson

THE FOLLOWING IS A TRIBUTE TO THE SOUL INSPIRING MESSAGE BY CLAUDIA BARKMAN AT THE HBYC CABIN RETREAT-2011
I think I'm coming to see more and more that the details of how we "do" church are not nearly as important as the spiritual condition of the the people in the church.  Sure I believe that certain church movements have done well in emphasizing different aspects of Christianity: holiness, ministry, Christ identifying with people, ministry to the poor, etc....  All of this pales in comparison to the most important component of a church--the people who make up the church.  The ANGUISH of Christians for the things that cause God ANGUISH and the repenting and confession of sin that grieves the heart of God are the components that really determine whether a church will merely put in time or actually engage in the Battle for the Souls of Men.

A Call to an Adventure....

         So what do you really want?  I find myself asking the guys that come to our Monday night Bible study this question on a weekly basis.  What do you want?  Why do you destroy yourself by fighting?  You destroy your body, and do so many things that you know are going to destroy you.  I think the problem is my boys don't know what they really want.  Most of all when they do know what they want they don't know how to get there.
          Lately I've been asking myself the same question.  What do I really want?  I don't mean to be a hedonist and life is definitely not about me, but I know that I have been designed by a creator.  I believe I have some desires that are hard wired inside of me.  In fact these desires are hard wired into every human being.  I believe we have all been wired with an intense desire for God.  How does that quote go?  Something about all of a person's running is really him trying to find God.  So if the thing I really want is God how does this affect my day to day life.  How does this really break down?  How does this relate to church life?
           Most people who have taken any basic psychology course or have dabbled in this science at all have probably soon come across Maslow's Hierarchy.  The theory goes something like this: Every person is born with certain needs.  For a person to experience self-actualization he must have these needs met.  These needs are listed in a pyramid diagram with the most basic needs pictured at the bottom.  According to the theory, the closer a person can get to the top of the pyramid the happier he will be.

The only problem I have with this theory is that the whole explanation leaves out God.  According to this theory if a person can control his environment enough he will be able to reach what every person REALLY WANTS: self-actualization (or in simple English--happiness).

           APPLICATION: Although I rarely mention it to anyone, in fact I rarely realize it, but in all practicality I believe that if I can control my environment enough I will be happy.  I am finding that I base a lot of my belief system on Maslow's Hierarchy.  Almost subconsciously I make so many decisions based on making sure my needs are met.  Why do I do this?  So I can be happy.  So I can experience self-actualization.  I make sure I have friends around me and enough money to do what I really want.  But where does this thinking ultimately end?  This theory leads to a self-sufficiency apart from God.  According to Jesus teaching he who tries to find his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for Christ's sake will find it (God's version of self-actualization).  

               It's only as we throw away the blocks of Maslow's pyramid that we can really live.  So what does that mean?  It might mean we give away so much money we may end up hungry.  It may mean that we spend time with the uncool person even if it means we will become disconnected with our really good friends (Ah I'm totally convicted already).  It may mean I blend in as a team player and never get noticed for my contribution rather than making sure I am a distinct individual.  However, the great part about all of this is that when I come up short with the needs I can supply for myself I allow God to make up the difference.  As long as we meet all our needs on our own, we block the blessings that God wants to give us.  "Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted."  They that mourn are blessed because they get to experience God.  As long as we control our own environment we never allow ourselves to experience God.  Is this why God feels so far away sometimes?  Is this why we wish we could have God come through in a big way but our request is never granted?  Maybe if we would put ourselves on the line enough to experience grief we would get a chance to experience God comforting us.  Maybe if we would put ourselves on the line enough to actually be out of food for a meal we would get a chance to see God "Give us our DAILY bread."  

               What do you really want?  What do I really want?  I think without a doubt the answer to this question is that we all want a God who is real, a God we can feel moving in our day to day lives on an hour by hour basis, a God who shows his love to us each day by meeting our needs because we have made ourselves needy by giving everything back to Him.  God loves needy people.  Why else would the first section of Matthew 5 hand out a list of blessings for very needy people.  Throughout scripture the theme runs true that God is a God of the needy.  He draws near to the humble.....  

              We talk a lot about being a good steward of what God has given us, but I wonder sometimes if our being a good steward is more about making sure all of our "ducks are in a row" so we will never be caught unprepared.  Whenever I become such a good steward of my possessions that everything works out I find myself predictably turning a cold shoulder to God.  The more I put myself on the line for God the more I find my passion for God grow.  In the Old Testament it is clearly shown that prosperity and turning away from God go hand in hand.  Maybe this is why in the New Testament Jesus asks us to try a different way.

                You see, we were not created to have boring lives.  So many people think Christianity is a boring religion.  It's not a boring religion unless we've re-created it this way.  God is not a boring God.  We only get bored when we cut him out of our lives by reaching self-actualization through Maslow's Hierarchy rather than by following the way of the cross.  Are you bored with life?  Give all your money away.  Do you want an adventure?  Pack your bags and head to the city and start a conversation with a homeless person.  Do you want to live?  Then put yourself on the line this next week in a God honoring way that requires God to come through for you to make it through the week and you will have the most exciting week of your life.  So what do you really want?  Based on scripture your most basic need is for God.  The best way to really experience God is to become needy (James 4:6-10).  The best way to become needy is to cut off the security lines currently holding you up.  "The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them away." --Shane Claiborne

                   Oh how our churches would be transformed if we only needed God.  Not just a head knowledge--"I need God."  But a real need--"I can't make it through this week without God."  If we would make ourselves needy enough to allow God to start working in our churches we would get so pumped about God we couldn't hold it inside.  Okay, so where's the line to sign up for being pumped about God?  Maybe it is right over there beside the person who needs a friend right now. 

--This post is dedicated to all my friends who have inspired me so much in pursuing the adventure of life.  My our dreams never be disappointed.  By God's grace these ideals will be the legacy of my life.

             

Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire

I just discovered something very profound: before we fuss about all the jazz of how a church should look we really need to stop and ask about the Prayer Life of the church members.  If you want to become convicted about prayer read Jim Cymbala's book, Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire.  This book is a real wake up call.  Sure I think there are ways to do church better, care for people better, etc... but "Unless God builds the house they labor in vain that build it."  How about we just shut up  I mean quit talking about all the right ways to do church and get our prayer lives straightened out.  I have a feeling that if we really became connected to God "church" would happen by itself.  What's that little Piper quote?  Something about, "Mission organizations are necessary because true worship so seldom happens."  Another good quote: "If you pray because you ought, your prayer life will soon lack motivation; but if you pray because you must you will constantly be praying."  "God, please help us to see reality, to really see our need and to quit wasting all of our time trying to become self-sufficient."